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The (Questionable) Destitution of Service

2/25 My Utmost For His Highest

“But before we will serve, we stop to ponder our personal and financial concerns— “What if God wants me to go over there? And what about my salary? What is the climate like there? Who will take care of me? A person must consider all these things.” All that is an indication that we have reservations about serving God.”

Josh and I looked into dozens of options that would combine the opportunities to travel and to serve others. After months of getting information and comparing ideas (praying for guidance), we proceeded with steps to apply for the Peace Corps. I’m talking circa May ’07.

Here we are-Feb. ’08, currently Nominated with Medical Clearance pending. From then to now, we’ve been to Atlanta twice (the latter for an official, 3 hour-long interview), been to 3 doctors each, and Josh has undergone Lasik eye surgery. We’ve attended a couple extra PC events in the area too, and those have been wonderful in linking us with returned volunteers, one or two of whom are now friends! Because my job as “Director of 1st Impressions” here at Southeast Venture in Nashville allows me oodles of time for personal pursuits, I think I’ve obtained about as much information as possible on the following subjects: PC packing strategies, scary critters the world over, Caribbean training center photos, PC dress code (esp. in the Caribbean nations), the training schedule-curriculum-process, and lots of other helpful information. Most of this has come from current or recent PCV online journals, for which I am so grateful.  I’ve found the Peace Corps community to be overwhelmingly helpful, insightful and gracious. Seems like a good group to join, right?!

So, that’s the history overview in short. Our parents (all six) love and support us, which is a relief. Their understanding and support of the adventure ahead (or ‘why the heck we would want to do something like this’) varies from a 3 to maybe…7 or so, and that’s alright. We aren’t mad atcha, so long as you send candy and visit!

As for the meaning of my blog title… This process really hinges on the repeated decision to trust God. I tend to think that there are different layers of trust; we hardly ever (if ever) give it all to something or someone. I believe deeply that I am created by an all-powerful, loving God that is intimately interested in me (and everyone else in the world). I trust Him with the big things like Heaven, how & when I die, the collective infinity of the world and time and space… I’m finding that it’s easiest to trust God when it’s way out of my league anyway. So, on this road toward our near-future, I feel like I’ve been given a gift, almost–Someone at PC HQ knows the community for which we were originally Nominated, but all Josh and I can do is prepare ourselves for ANYthing. We’ve heard several accounts of volunteers who were given little notice about big changes in plan for their region and assignment. Who’s to say that we will actually leave on a plane on July 20th, to a country in the Caribbean? All we know is … all we know. And that’s just fine. It gives us the freedom to trust, because it’s out of our hands. Of course, sometimes I still get antsy and info-maniacal. It also gives us the opportunity to share this trust with others, when they ask, “How can you live like that–are you crazy? You’re okay with packing two bags and going SOMEwhere?!” Every time I respond with, “We’ll find out eventually…not our problem. God’s taking care of it,” I feel this weight lifting off me, as if, in sharing what God gave to me, I’m reinforcing it in my own mind. I don’t ALWAYS respond with that confidence and positivity, but I’d like to. This process is already changing the way I think about the future, since I know that God is THE great handler of details. I’m becoming more confident of this fact as I live it out. I thank God that I’m unable to “help” Him achieve my dreams–because that’s ridiculous (try as I might)! And we haven’t even left TN yet.

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2 Responses

  1. you write so well, jess.

    i love you and can’t wait to get this show on the road.

  2. I’m late in the commenting game but wanted to share that I’m grateful that you get to share in this crazy amazing journey together. You are a good fit on so many levels. I look forward to hearing the details of what is to come.

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