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Strangers on this road
We are all
We are not two,
We are one.
(kinks)

There’s no way this will seem rational to you or even realistic unless you have ever been or are currently in the Peace Corps.  However, a group of us met in Porti to sight-see and we all agree: each of us are experiencing mood swings off the charts and trying to mentally take things one day at a time.  It occurred to me the other day that, after our final week in Kingston for swearing in, Josh and I will just be living and working in communities in the upper Rio Grande valley. For the next two years.  We may consolidate in Kingston if there’s a threat of hurricane and we’ll have continued trainings to attend.  However, for the rest of life, we’ll be here…kicking it in the valley.  I honestly don’t like to dwell on it for long.  It’s better for me to take things as they come and keep my focus on what’s directly in front.  Navel-gazing currently gives me a headache. Haha…as does a long ride smalled-up in a hot mini-bus, but that’s another story.

So we had some friends come into Porti today and we acted like tourists, bathing suits on under our clothes and everything.  It was pretty fun.  We only have a few 77 and 78 volunteers left in Portland now, and Sean is one of them.  He graciously took us out to “the Island,” otherwise known as Monkey Island, and handled our wide-eyed questions every so patiently.  We walked about 30 minutes down the road and then through some water to reach it.  The payoff was how beautiful it was up there (We had a great view of Folly Point and lighthouse and the sky was quite picturesque!) and also getting to jump off a big cliff into the water.  Apparently, someone bought the island and has put in a nice stone path and platforms for people when they visit.  It’s well maintained and just a treat to have found.

A couple of us were talking about our moods since we’ve come to Jamaica…how you can change from having a great day to a terrible one and back in record time these days.  No wonder they ask us to be careful when we blog!  It’s because they know that Peace Corps service involves certain side effects, like temporarily losing your mind and reverting to whims of emotion at various points in each day.  I can’t blame it on hormones, for I’ve seen it in the male contingent too.  It’s just something we are going to have to work out for ourselves.  It IS a strange thing to go through, I’ll admit.
Part of it is the huge change in lifestyle…but there are so many other things that go into it.
More on that later. Time for my nighttime bugspray dousing.  :P

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7 Responses

  1. Time will fly and emotions will settle. Good luck at your site =)

  2. You both have given a lot to be right where you are. Give yourselves time. Love to you both!

  3. Kim told me a while back, when they were in the process of signing all the papers to buy the house here that she had to make a mental switch. She was fighting this battle in her head, knowing what her ideal house would be, knowing that this one isn’t really it, weighing the pros and cons, feeling a bit trapped i’m sure. But she said that once she purposed in her mind that “this is where i’m at. this is my home”, it made all the difference. She could start decorating, planning, saving to decorate more. It was now a project that was HERS instead of a doubtful transaction.

    I think it’ll be the same for you guys. A point will come (but who knows when, that’s the fumbly part) when you just stop striving. Stop trying to find your place or solve all the disconnects in your mind. Just be.

    It’ll come, Jess. You know it will.

    In the meantime, i love you. Know that prayers and praises are going up on your behalf.

  4. Oh yeah, any chance for more pictures soon?

  5. AWSEOME post jess, i give it five stars! i’m definitely linking this post if you don’t mind… it is exactly what i want to say but am too dang tired in the evenings to write it (hehe)! see you saturday! :D

  6. Friend, my goal this weekend is to send you an email. I miss you a lot but am way excited for you! Go outside and sing, “Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight. Someone’s thinking of me and loving me tonight Somewhere out there someone’s saying a prayer. That we’ll find one another in that big somewhere out there And even though I know how very far apart we are
    It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star.” I be doing a brief comeback tour back in the states and I’m trying to figure out how to spend a week with you all in the spring. I’d actually love to see your valley (the beach and I don’t agree with each other!) Lately, I’ve really been being blessed by Kate Hurley…I’m trying to get that cd to you! Anyway, know that you are really understood. I loved your email and your honesty…you are a beautiful person…uhmm you too Josh! hehehe. Keep on keepin on! (hey less than 24 months to go!)

  7. I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion.
    (Henry David Thoreau, Walden)

    Love, Dad/jt

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